p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dear god my vagina.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
