i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
