I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize