How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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