the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize