Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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