you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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