when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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