No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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