so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
