Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
