He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
