She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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