put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We have started to decorate penises.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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