worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
