I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
how does that bad decision feel?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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