Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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