So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
