The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
