He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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