We're facebook friends in real life
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you never un-have a 4some
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
