I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
