You really coming over, don't trick.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it glows. i had to have it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
