She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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