So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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