i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
