I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Damn victory sex feels great
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
