I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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