once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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