i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
