You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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