i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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