What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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