I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
