ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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