Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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