dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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