The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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