the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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