You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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