Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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