I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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