addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
