Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
