I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
