...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
