drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
