she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My vagina just recognized that song.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
