I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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