No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
