I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
