im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
