I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I understand Curling. That high.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
