Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
if only i could text you this smell
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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