It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
