he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
