There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm at about main and main street
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
